Thursday, February 4, 2016

It's a world cancer day!

Assalamualaikum wbt.

I have been abandoning my blog for far too long. There are a lot of things going on in my life. I was pretty busy with being a final year medical student and trying to adapt being a wife.Lol. Yes I am married now alhamdulillah.

So today is a world cancer day.It's been about 3 years and a half that I was diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma and I am still on treatment for it. Cancer is such a scary word, but I am pretty sure all of us have come across or know at least one person that was or is fighting the battle against it.

If I were to go back to that moment when I was just 21 years old facing that diagnosis, it still makes me cringe. Even up till now there were days when it gets more difficult than the others. Within this 3 years I have learned so much about how to deal with my emotion and how not to look at it from a bitter side. I can if I want to feel sorry for my self and keep dwelling about this but I have decided long ago not to do that. My logic is simple. It takes a lot of energy to feel sorrow and upset. If you have that much energy, why don't use it to feel happy?

I started counting my blessings. I remember every little good thing people do to me. I become more appreciative of the love people keep on showering me. By doing all that, I find myself being happier than ever.

I honestly think that lesson like this comes once in a life time. It comes with experience. It comes with being knocked down to the lowest level in your life and trying hard to come back up.It's also about trying to make peace with your past accepting that unfavorable things happen but you can choose how you want it to affect you. We are all being tested differently. What keeps me going is the fact that I know Allah's plan will always be better than mine and maybe having this condition is better for me. Allah has blessed me so much and I feel like I have gained a lot more than I lose. It's not easy, I'll be honest. Dealing with uncertainties but then again is there anyone who is certain about his/her life?No one is promised tomorrow and I bet no one can confidently come up to me and say that they will live longer than I do because we never know( chances are most of them will but none of us are certain of that). So I save my self from worrying too much about things that I can't control and start focusing on things I can.

Life is what you make of it. You can be happy if you want to. The choice is yours. Then again, I am not saying that you cannot be sad at all. You can. Just not for far too long. You have a life to live and haven't you heard that life is short,why wasting it by being in tears. When you are down, cry if you must and I have to say I am really good at it. Crying has always been my first step to climb that stairs and be on my way up again. No one has never fell but some stay too long till their mind falsely believe that it's impossible to go back up again. Don't let your sadness makes a fool out of you. The problems could be huge but so is Allah's mercy. His help is probably just a prayer away, so make it.