Sunday, June 29, 2014


Ramadhan is here. Alhamdulillah. I am so excited and really look forward to this blissful month. Yesterday i attended our very first Al Buruj sisters' circle. I've been volunteering with Al buruj for about 6 months now and i am glad i did. i walked out of my comfort zone! I was contemplating because I didnt think I could fit in due to language barrier. However I told myself that everything will be fine. I reminded myself about what's the main reason I want to volunteer.

Well to be honest at first,it's just about wanting to do as much as good deeds because i know that i dont have much time left to try and add some point to get to the best side of my Creator. When i was in malaysia, i volunteered with mercy mission and that was when i realised that by surrounding yourself with people of the deen does help you in so many way in order to improve oneself. so you could see that my ulterior motive was just for myself(well of course i want to help people but still the main reason was to help myself and get reward from it). However God is the best planner and through this He actually gives me a family here. The sisters are so amazing and the way they act tells me so much about the saying that we often hear but seldom feel, love for the sake of Allah. MashaAllah I cant express how lucky i am to be part of this group.

During the sisters' circle yesterday, we went through Prophet's Sermon for the month of Ramadhan. it's so beautiful and eventhough the sister read it without putting any emotions in it, it went through straight to the heart. Subhanallah. How far behind am i in this journey to discover islam that I never knew that there were such thing as prophet's sermon available for us to read and reflect upon. Astaghfirullah. I ask your forgiveness for my ignorance. you can read that HERE and enjoy the beautiful melancholic feeling it brings as you indulge yourself into every sentence written there.

i have been wanting to tell the sisters about my cancer but i have not had the chance so i did it's amazing to see the pain in their eyes when they know that their fellow sister is struggling with life and has kept that to herself for quite sometimes. they were saying to me to go to them anytime i need anything. they hugged me and assured me that Allah is great and whatever happened is for the best. They prayed that Allah will grant me shifa and they were so happy that i was part of the group. Little that they know the happiest person was me. I felt so relieved to be able to finally tell them because when you love someone you dont want to keep any secret from them.

i am really glad that i meet these amazing people in my life. i pray that Allah will reward you as much as possible for all the kindness you offer to me. Have a blessed Ramadhan and hopefully we will get the most out of this Holy month :)

Tuesday, June 24, 2014


Great newssssss *drumrolls*

I am getting married next year! lol ok i'm JOKING(well i wish i am not because i've always wanted to get married in 2015)! well who knows,please pray that i will meet my future husband soon enough so that i can get married next year. ok enough of this marriage thing Idzni!

moving on to the real great news. i was having my 3 monthly ctscan last week and the result has come out to be fine so i will be off medication for another 3 months. hopefully this will continue and i wont have to take that chemo drugs anymore.please pray for me :)

thank you Allah for being so nice to me. i've failed so miserably countless time but You are still with me guiding me through this bumpy journey that we call life.looking back at who i was before, i am really grateful that i got this wake up call 2 years ago.thank you.

to be honest, all of us are aware that we are going to die one day but this fact does not really settle in our mind trust me,not until you see the reasons why you will go earlier than people your age.we are to some extent still being influenced by the mentality that younger people will live longer without us realising it. i've received a few shocking news about friends going earlier that we thought they would.Al fatihah to all these friends of mine,i pray that you will be placed among those who are pious and will be rewarded by Allah swt. when i was diagnosed with cancer that fact really hits me,the fact that i will probably die earlier than i thought i would/should be. i was not ready. i was scared. i was devastated but the more you learn about religion,the more you draw yourself to Allah, everything becomes easier.

O Allah i pray that you will let me reach ramadhan this year and help me and everyone who reads this to become closer to you. help us to please You.


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Ramadhan is just around the corner


We are nearly going to the middle of Sha'ban and guesss whaaaat? *drumrolls* RAMADHAN IS COMING SOOON! yeayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

I am so excited for this Ramadhan eventhough I have exams at that time but really i cant wait!it's the time when your spiritual side is at its best. However we have to do some preparations in order to go all out for this ramadhan. Do you know any of the marathon runners? How long did they train themselves to go for 15km run?and did they start off by doing all 15kn in one go? i doubt so. you cant possibly drive a car with 5th gear from the beginning can you?

So what we can do in order to prepare ourselves is

  1. if you havent done so, start reading the quran after each prayer. It doesnt matter if it's just a simple surah. a little but consistent deed goes a loooooooong wayy!
  2. start training yourself to fast. well for those who would be fasting in the summer like i would you know that it's gonna be about 18-19 hours right?so do some practice so that your body are used to it. the way i did it, i try to fast on monday and thursday everyweek!
  3. train yourself to wake up for sahur by waking up for qiyam.OMG you guys already know but i really want to stress here that in ramadhan you'll get thousands time the rewards you would normally get in other let's useee this!!nothing can get any better than doing what Allah loves in this month.try it.try and do just 2 or 4 rakaah and then work your wayyy up..again a little goessss a long wayy.
  4. cook!learn how to's the best opportunity for us all to learn.well it's ramadhan and you just eat proper meal once a day so why not putting a bit more effort into the dishes without spending too much money eating out?win win isnt it?
  5. forgiveness! forgive everyone that has wronged you in anyway. people say a crucial part of being happy is being able to accept apologies we never received!so growwwwwww up and let go of all the ill feelings you have.
  6. Make a lot of dua.not only for yourself but for the loved ones.and for the ummah.for syiria for palentine.for everyone.
let's do our best shall we?

O Allah I ask you to give me chance to meet Ramadhan this year and to make full use of it.

Wasalam :)