Thursday, May 22, 2014

the faults in our stars

finally i get the chance to read this says most of the thing i could not. it expresses how i feel better than i myself could.

it tells me so much about life and love. i love how Augustus Waters puts it at the end. It sounds like this, we as a human want to leave something behind when we die,something to be remembered but little that we know all we leave behind is some scar to those who love us. it is true isn't it. when i first knew that i have cancer, of course i was worried about what is going to happen to me but to be honest a huge part of my worries is dragging the people that i love and love me in this mess they never invested.i mean yeah they didnt know that i would end up like this when they first decided to love me. but this book consoles me so much. At first it seemed like Hazel Grace was the lucky girl when Augustus approached her. He was in remission and Hazel was not and the fact that he loved her and wanted to be with her was touching. but life is not that simple and straightforward, at least not in this book. so his cancer came back and he died first leaving Hazel miserably. She had to deal with the scar alone. that's life. as much as i think i would depart first from the people that i love, we never know what's going to happen. all i can do i just pray.pray that whatever happens is for the best.pray that we would all accept whatever has been decreed upon us. 

i think i am so lucky to be born in this religion and the fact that i was taught about patience and acceptance since i was young helps so much. and of course i could not see the point right away but after some time i get it. this life is just temporary and nothing matters most than pleasing the creator. i was so into superficiciality that i once thought no one would be able to love me after they know my diagnosis. i was proven wrong so many times. it restored my faith in humanity. people love me more,or at least they are bolder or they put an action to their words. and i never blamed those who distanced themselves too. do not invest in the thing you are unsure about is one of the good policies to adapt to be happy. my situation helps me filter out who i dont need in my life,making my life so much easier.having said that, it made me appreaciate those who stay so much.

to my dearest parents,family and friends.
thank you so much for being with me along this journey. May Allah bless all of us


Monday, May 5, 2014

see with your heart, what your eyes cannot


How are you guys? I hope whoever is reading this insyaAllah is in the greatest state of mind and health and wealth.may Allah bless all of us.Ameen.

First of all i would like to apologize to everyone who reads my blog and finds anything that i wrote does not make sense or unsuitable or annoying or anything of some sort. this blog was once used to be just like a diary to me.i usually share the link on my fb of the post i think would benefit other people,not the personal one.if you could see,i just have 53 followers and those are mostly my close friends. those who know me would know i am kinda quite expressive when i encounter any problems. my close friends know my up to date life stories to the smallest details like what color my friend's sister wore on her wedding day?ok maybe not.

but yeah then again i am all grown up now(i hope so) and some of the things i am dealing with are not as simple as just what happened in my life concerns other people as well which at times i again i am really sorry for being too personal on this blog sharing every single details about my life.i probably won't be able to make a 180 change but i'll try and be more careful next time.i'll try my best. maybe this is how God wants to tell me,look if you have problems come to me. the blog ain't gonna help you, I would! :)
I really appreciate those who remind me of the possible wrong things i do or did.that only means that they want me to do better in life in the future.thank you :) i pray that Allah reward your kindness.

and this quote serves as a self-reminder for me!

on a different note,we are now in the months of rajab. ramadhan is just around the corner. let's use this opportunity to bring ourself closer to the almighty God, Allah shall we?