Thursday, November 28, 2013


This is an interesting story i copied from HERE talking about how powerful istighfar can be!

This story about “Istighfar” is from the life of Imam Ahmed Bin Hanbal, who is considered as a renowned scholar of Islam and a famous theologian. During his old age, while Imam Ahmed was travelling he stopped by a town. After the prayers, he wanted to stay for the night in the masjid yard because he didn’t know anyone in the town. Owing to his humility, he hadn’t introduced himself to anyone thinking that if he did, he would be welcomed by many people.
Failing to recognize Ahmed bin Hanbal, the caretaker of the mosque refused to let him stay in the mosque. As Imam Ahmed was quite old, the caretaker had to drag him out of the mosque. On seeing this, a baker from a nearby place felt pity for this man (Imam Ahmed) and offered to be the host to him for the night. During his stay with the baker, Imam Ahmed observed that the baker would constantly recite Istighfar (seeking forgiveness from Allah). Imam Ahmed asked the baker if the constant practice of saying Istighfar had any effect on him. The baker responded by telling Imam Ahmed that Allah had accepted all of his duas (supplications), except one. When he asked him what dua was it that hadn’t been accepted, the baker replied that he had been asking Allah to provide him the privilege to meet the famous scholar Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal. On this, Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal said that Allah had not only listened to his dua but had dragged him onto his (the baker’s) doorsteps. [Summarized from Al Jumuah magazine, vol 19, issue 7]

let's just take a few mins everyday to do this and insyaAllah we'll see the difference.


Sunday, November 24, 2013

the best thing ever happened to me (:

i'm watching the bbc documentary of the prophet muhammad pbuh in youtube and only God knows how much i miss those holy cities. i am so glad and happy that i was given the chance to be there last was an unforgettable experience and i would do anything to go again.
the feeling is unexplainable. when i was in medina, i knew i would miss it even though at that time i was still there,having 1-2 more days before i went to's so strange but beautiful.

it's a place where you can completely forget about the world.get immersed in the emotion that connects you with God.a place full of people who are trying their best to please the maker. a very beautiful place.thank you Allah for giving me the chance to go there.


Sunday, November 10, 2013

life must go on

for those who know me would definitely be aware of the fact that i am a huge fan of korean i was watching this one drama called cyrano agency last week,this part attracted me so much. well in any dramas or movies,if they want to make it dramatic,one of the leading actor must be dying or suffering from cancer. that's how scary cancer means to everyone.

'do you think that love is too much of a luxury to dying people?'
'our one day is as good as anyone else's,what's different is that we are fully aware of the fact that we're still alive'

so true! at first i do agree with the first statement. i do think that love is such a luxury to someone like me.someone who is going to leave another person behind.isnt it selfish to still love and wanting to be loved in return when you know that you have so little time left?indeed but i also think that it's more selfish to stop people from loving you just because you assume that you are going to go first before them.why did i use the word assume?simply because no one can really be sure who's gonna live longer than the other despite their health conditions.there are people dying while being healthy and there are people who are still alive despite of the fact that they had this so and so condition for you cant really tell.why torturing yourself into thinking or assuming something and denying your right just because you feel like it's typically gonna happen that way. speaking from the other end(as patient),i would have to say that it is rather difficult. it's not easy to convince myself.i never understood felt stigma until i was in this self esteem just went down in a split of a second.i am 22 right now and it's about right for me to be thinking about marriage and family.i did casually talk to my friend about wanting to get married. to be honest, i am not fully convinced that i would be able to just because i often feel that i would be the most selfish person to allow someone to be part of this pain. despite of having people around me who keep on trying to persuade me that it is indeed allright to do so,i dont's just not as least not for now.

and for the second statement.yes!our day is as good as one of yours's just that we are more aware of us still being alive. i tried to wake up everyday feeling grateful that Allah is still giving me the opportunity to live. to tie any loose ends before i will finally meet Him. I am grateful because i know for sure that this spiritual strength does help me a lot to go easy on myself.of course i am aware of my condition esp when i need to take my medication three times a day,monitoring my blood pressure every other day,looking at the mirror supervising the side effects of the drugs i am taking but i am not depressed or overly concerned. i just live my life having faith that Allah is just.for every hardship He puts me through,definitely He's gonna reward me.if not in this life then in the hereafter.

my consultant said to me once dying people (referring to the patient) are usually the nicest. i went back and think about it.i guess it's true.and no matter how much i have left o Allah i pray that you help me to be that nice person. i also pray that everyone who directly or indirectly has been praying,encouraging and wishing the best for me will be rewarded as much as possible. i could feel the love you guys are giving me and indeed it does make a different in the life of a fragile person like me. whenever i feel like i'm gonna break,i think of all the blessings i have and find myself smiling again. thanks for everything :)


Saturday, November 9, 2013

how many candles have you lit?

have we ever wondered how much we can learn from a single thing?if you try and change the way we perceive thing, it's beyond  imagination how it actually can help you to reflect your day to day lives and help you to realize what you should or should not do.

before i start rambling about candle I want to share with you a story. There's this one nice and kind-hearted girl trying to spread goodness to the sisters by saying that we must cover our aurah even if it's just because we are forced to do so.she went on saying about putting your dad into the hellfire if you the daughters dont cover the aurah and I have no doubt that she does what she did because she really cares and wants the best for the sisters. but the thing is sometimes we have to be sensitive with the situations or circumstances that someone is in before we could finally decide on how to address the issue.sometimes paying attention to tiny little details goes a long it's indeed not a waste of time to try and be friend,build the trust and get them to feel the vibe that we are actually want the best for them before we even start talking about the serious issue.

so the issue was about hijab.I have no valid arguments to support me and I dont even dare to say that not wearing a hijab is fine.It's not but everyone has different unique story of their own so we cant just simply use the same approach for everyone. Some of us are quite lucky to be brought up in a family that trained us to cover the aurah properly since we were young. but Allah has always reminded us that being lucky should not be the reason we should forget about those who dont have the same privilege as we do,so yes we do need to help them or should i say help each other to be better. however in my opinion( a humble opinion from a person that probably have little knowledge but in my life i do come across a lot of experiences regarding this issue), everyone has their own beginning on how they would start and pursue goodness. i absolutely agree with those who say there's no way you could have a good heart when you are not obedient to what Allah has asked you to do. but before we jump into a conclusion just like that,let's look at it from a different perspective.a person who doesnt wear hijab could fall into a lot of categories and what we should never do it stereotyping them.some of them might want to wear one but just dont know how,some might not have the courage to do so,some might be afraid of the eyes around them so they refrain themselves from changing.some might not know the reason why we should wear one.and some might be waiting for the right time to wear one.see?if i go on,there could be hundred reasons why people dont do thing they are supposed to do.

the first step i would say is to find the similarity.deep down inside every person, i believe or would love to believe that there must be even if it's not much but i am sure there must be a part of them that wants to be better from the previous self.bear in mind,everyone lives differently.everyone is being tested differently.if you ask those people that have turned over new leaves,i am sure there would be various reasons that triggered them to change.some people started with charity,some people probably from reading,some might be from covering the aurah and wearing the hijab. and from then they started to change bit by bit and insyaAllah continue to change to please Allah.what I am trying to say is that we should not just think that only by starting to cover themselves do people show their genuine intentions to change.everyone has different starting point! that is why we need to focus on the similarity.we all want to be better.and that is the most important part of it never know that your words can influence other people's life.a good daie is someone whom i think make people comfortable to talk about their issues without fear of being judged.the truth is,everyone is struggling, even the one who has completely cover their aurah. build the rapport,allow them to let you see their circumstances before you address things that need to be patient and you will see how worthy it is to do so. so please mind your words because it could be that the person you are trying to bring to the right track is actually indeed on the right one,it's just that they have not reached the point you are imagining they should be in right now.

some people might say,we dont have much time to wait.death can come at any time. you probably have not come across this story

Among those who came before you was a man who killed 99 people. He then asked to be guided to the most prolific worshipper from the inhabitants of the earth, and he was directed to a monk. He went to him and told him that he had killed 99 people, and he asked whether it was possible for him to repent. The monk said, ‘No.’ The man killed him, thus making him the 100th victim. He then asked to be directed to the most knowledgeable of the Earth’s inhabitants, and he was guided to a scholar. He went to him and told him that he had killed 100 people, and he asked whether it was possible for him to repent. The scholar said, ‘Yes, and who will stand between you and repentance. Go to such and such land, for in it dwell a people who worship Allah, so go and worship Allah with them. And do not return to your land, for it is indeed a land of evil.’ He left, and when he reached the halfway point of his journey, he died. The angels of Mercy and the angels of Punishment disputed with one another [in regard to his case]. The angels of Mercy said, ‘He came to us repentant, advancing with his heart towards Allah.’ The angels of Punishment said, ‘Indeed, he never performed any good deeds.’ Then an angel came in the form of a human being, and both groups of angels asked him to be the judge between them. He said, ‘Measure the distance between the two lands. Whichever land he is closer to is the land that he is closer to [in terms of being of its people]. They then measured the distance and found that he was closer to the land that he was heading towards, and so it was the angels of Mercy who then took his soul.”

[al-Bukhaari: 3470 ; Muslim: 2766]

When someone genuinely wants to change and pleases Allah I am sure the almighty will give them time.dont worry,have faith in Him and pray for the person so that Allah could touch their heart before it's too late.

i hope i made sense and to end this entry i would love to remind us about candle.

if you want to make someone happy,you have to be happy can only give what you already have.and you dont have to put others down just for you to stand up.calling people bad wont make u look any better.calling people ugly wont make u any prettier.what u say or do reflects what exactly inside lets try and be the better version of ourself each day.dont torture yourself by comparing ur unique self to others. if you cant help to lit someone's candle,just try n preserve your own without having to extinguish other's 

thank you for reading.correct me if i am wrong because i myself is still learning and there are a lot of things i dont know.and this CANDLE is a lecture from mufti menk.really good.if you have time,listen to it! (:

Thursday, November 7, 2013

mufti menk

i love his talk so much! whenever i feel so low that i dont think i can carry on,i will listen to his talk.o Allah let me be among those who will always have faith in you even when i cant see the reason behind what you've fated for me.