Friday, October 25, 2013

journey to jannah part 1


I hope everyone who is reading this is in the best state of health and may Allah bless all of us.
so today I would like to share my experience being one of the panelists in an event called a journey to jannah held by young women weekly. it was a nice simple event and i think there were around 30 people there. the main purpose of the event is just to share our stories because kak kausar and i apparently have the experiences that probably not many people would encounter.

It started with Kak Kausar sharing how her trip to Gaza left her with a huge impact and I absolutely agree. i was too immersed in the emotion that i suddenly forgot that i was the panelist and tears started to well up in the eyes and i literally just let it out even though i was facing all the audiences. May Allah bless you Kak Kausar.I was really inspired and I do hope I will get the same opportunity to go to Gaza and feel it for my self.

listening to kak kausar really made me feel like mine was just a little issue but again i reminded myself that the purpose of going is just to share and even if just few people benefit a little from it,it's more than enough.

i began with a bit of a background about my diagnosis which i am pretty sure everyone who reads this blog already know.but yeah i was diagnosed with kidney cancer about a year ago and my life has changed ever since.

so i was telling them the details about it which i've wrote in my previous entry. You can find it
here and here and also here.

you can also visit my sister's blog.she wrote a lot about it over the years but i'll just link a few posts here.

the next bit is about the challenges i encountered during this phase.

well of course at first it was how to accept it and accepting it was a process or a journey itself not just something that occurred in a blink of an eye.being brought up with sufficient knowledge about patience and acceptance,fate and Allah's decrees I have to admit that i was on the advantageous side.why?at least i knew i should not question why it happened to me and i  knew that there must be  good clear valid reasons why out of so many people in this world i was chosen to face this.i might not see it now but yeah i am certain that the reasons do exist. i have also came across the verse in the Quran that says something like Allah will not burden a soul more than it can bear. however to be completely honest i had to do a lot of persuasion to convince myself that this has happened and i have to accept it and that is the easiest way to deal with it.i'd love to quote good doctor korean drama here.i would say that this test for me is like a disinfectant to the does sting at first when you apply it to the open wound but we know definitely that it's going to help the wound heal it's only right for me as a servant to accept this test,turn to Allah and seek for his help.
challenges came in a lot of form but i think spiritual strength really make it easier to deal with those hardships.leave everything to Allah.anonymous said to me that worry ends when faith begins.and i also know that Allah alone is sufficient,so if i am feeling empty or not enough it simply means that i havent put Allah in His rightful place which is at the top of everything.if we live to please Allah than we should not be worrying about the time he has appointed for us to go and meet him right?my close friend said this to me once "death is a gift to a believer because it's the time to meet the Maker.

moving to the 3rd question.this video is from the original event.i'm sorry i kept on using words macam or faham tak n it does sound a bit inappropriate to use informal words like that but i took the forum more like a friendly event to share with the sisters and hence the informal language. i hesitated to share this because i'm ashamed but if it benefits other people then why not right.

prayers from all my family,friends and ect did play an important role as well.comforting words from new friends(i refuse to use the word stranger) who took their time to personally write to me to encourage me so that i can be strong meant so much to me.
when you face difficulty bee closer to Allah,seek his help for He is all knowing and He obviously know the solution of your misery.I am a great believer in a saying that mention Allah tests you because He wants to get the best out of you,He misses you,He wants you to rely to Him. if we think about it,we sort of need some pressure or force or situation to actually help us to see our potential. the test of a pudding is in eating.the test of a strength is by going through obstacles and difficulties.we always ask God to  grant us patience and maybe this is His way of answering that particular wish. but we are lucky because this is the only test in this world that the teacher (read: Allah) let us seek for help.we can raise our hands and pray for Him to help us. the thing is we always take life for granted.We take Allah's love for granted and we get carried away in this temporary world. This test definitely just to bring me back on the track i would say :) 

well yes when i look back and realized how far i have gone ever since and how matured i have become as well as how much Allah's help and blessings i got,i  seriously think that there are more to this test than just a's an eye opener and life changing experiences and by going through this makes me understand myself my family and my lord even more,so how could i not be grateful?


it'll be too long if i were to summarize 4 hours event in 1 post so look forward to my 2nd part.
may Allah bless all of us.
till then,thank you for reading and take care.