Wednesday, March 20, 2013

hargai diri

assalamualaikum wbt.
bismillahirrahmanirrahim :)

i've just listened to a talk by prof dr muhaya in ikim just now n i think it's a very good one and i'd like to share it here.the topic was to appreciate yourself. there's this formula dr muhaya always says in her talk which is 'ada,beri,dapat' which means if u want something from someone you have to give it first and to be able to give you have to have it within you.say it's appreciation that u want from ur husband,family or children,you have to appreciate them first and to be able to appreciate them u have to start by appreciating yourself.she said you cant give other people something that you dont the root of the problem in our lives usually comes from us.every negativity that we feel in our sorrounding is actually the reflection of what is happening inside us.everything that we do actually is a mirror of who we are in the inside.

so if we keep on doing the wrong thing,there is certainly something wrong with our heart.there are 3 scariest illness of the heart which we should always distance ourselves from.they are ria',hasad and ujub.ria' means showing off the good deeds or the blessings we have,hasad is being negatively envious of other people achievement and wanting that achievement to disappear and ujub is feeling so proud of oneself that makes the person feel like he/she's better than anyone please please let's restrain ourselves from this attitude.

a caller asked about whether or not should an only child go and visit the sick parent if the husband does not allow it and the answer really made me go yeah so said a great person does not deal with the problem but prevent it from really choose your partner before marriage.marry someone who puts his deen(religion) as his first and none of this will happen.but since it's too late now that it has happened,try and have a slow talk with the husband.if he doesnt listen then look at we listen to them all the time,if not change ourselves and insyaAllah the husband will change too.everything happens in our lives is the consequences of what we did so please think about the wrong things we did and change it.

i love how prof muhaya relates everything to ourselves because it does seem treat the people with right attitude so that they will do the same and to be able to do that you have to have that right attitude first.i have always think that people would look down on me or wont be able to love me because of my flaws esp after being diagnosed with cancer.i stigmatised myself n i drove myself into believing that i dont deserve to love or be loved because of the bad gene i have..well who wants to marry someone who carries cancer gene?i was mistaken by my poor judgement that put the world above i need to change my perspective about myself.i need to appreciate n love myself in other for other people to do so.i need to stop thinking about it as a flaw.and i need to convince my self that God put it this way so that i marry the right person.only someone who puts his deen first will take the risk coz he puts his trust in Allah.every living souls will taste death no matter how healthy or sick you are.and i need to change my vision..hereafter should be the basis of judgement.Allah looks at good deeds not if i can bring myself to be a good servant who submits fully to him then my gene should not be a problem and i should not regard that as my weakness.if having this so called flaw reminds me to be a good servant to my Lord,i guess i'm up for keeping that flaw..alhamdulillah for this advice and i hope that whoever reading this,whatever flaw you may have if it leads you to Allah,be grateful ;)

Allah loves us all and let's love him with all our might

Allahualam :)


Mahirah M said...

There is no flaw at all in being diagnosed with cancer. The fact that you fight through it is itself, inspirational and respectable. A physical cancer is better than an invisible 'cancer' in the heart. May you are always in His care :)

Dolly said...

Hi Idzni, I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. What does the doctor say? Like you wrote, be positive. I will be praying for you.

nik idzni dalila said...

thank you kak mahirah :) i guess sometimes inferiority just creeps in but yeah need to just chin up n take it positively

nik idzni dalila said...

hi dolly..they have taken out the cancer but i have to undergo radiotherapy just in case there are still some reamining cancerous cells..thank you for ur concern n prayers ;)