Thursday, April 14, 2011

confession

what it takes is just a word..sorry..and the friendship will soon be back to normal. i have a confession to make. it's not easy for anyone to make me angry.it's hard to make me mad at smthg or somebody coz i have quite a high tolerance towards all those craps people throw at me.but believe me you once it happens it stays in this heart for quite a long time. it takes so long just to feel alright.it takes forever to forget it. but it only takes a word sorry to ease everything. i may not be able to forget how bad things were but that word would simply remove all the hatred i have in my heart.all the black dots will be cleaned up. forgiving is never that hard.

along the line of life i've met so much obstacles and please dont feel sorry for me unless u're the kinda person who get everything u've ever wanted. that's the one and only reason it's acceptable for you to feel sorry.i might look pathetic in one or two branches of my story-line tree but i'm grateful that i'm not afraid to admit the whole truth and not living in denial.if i was hurt, it's shown and if happiness was mine, the rays radiated through these eyes.i was being honest with myself all way long coz i think there's nothing worse than trying to pretend like everything is fine when it's not. yeap some people did make me feel it's better keeping things on my own coz letting them out will just hurt another human being but that doesnt mean i'm not aware of what's happening.

be it trying to be nice or giving false hope i really dont want to fall into that category. rebound is the worst thing and i would never want to do that. but there is a ver thin line between trying to be a good friend and hinting someone i like him.and i've been mistakenly regarded as so for few times and this makes me feel bad about myself. seriously, is there anyone in this world that is on my side when i said single is alright? i mean you have less things to be worried about, u can have ur own spaces, u dont need to do anything to be up to anyone's expectation and the most important thing is that no one can affect ur life as much.

'u havent met the right one,that's why the only thing comes up when rshp is concerned is pain' someone tries to convince me.

one side of me said,to be honest no, i wasnt afraid to fall in love. remember i wrote something about liking someone?my biggest concern is that the time i have now is only enough for myself. one day i'll make time for this but it's not now i guess. it could be tomorrow or day after, i dont know but please for now dont you fall in love with me, dont show me ur affection, i cant give you what u want from me and i dont want the attention! it annoys me when people are being flirtatious. if a person really likes u,she'll make her way to ur life. so let's say one day God opens my heart and we were fated to be together i will find my way and lead my self towards you. so just dont push it coz u might find urself pulling at the wrong end and things will never be the same.

the other side of me admits yes i've had enough.and for now i coudnt take anything similar anymore. it's human nature to feel tired.sometimes nothings changed tho it appears so,it's just the art of keeping it from the whole world.
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3 comments:

wafeex said...

bkpo ni nik? mg ok dop nim?

nik idzni dalila said...

aku ok jah tp aku emo denge ore2 hok tok pehey bahaso ni..kalu tegur aku xreply kato sombong kalu aku reply keno cop wi fake hope lop..payoh nok saim gni gak..hahaha

wafeex said...

ahaha bnda normal. kito bukey bulih tutup mulut ore.