Sunday, February 6, 2011

i talk to myself!

i hear knocking sound on my door..confused,as always whether it's just illusion or real..the sound becomes louder. i try to convince myself it's just a fantasy. i put the maximum volume to the song i'm listening simply because i want to pretend like i hear nothing. nothing coz i dont want to feel guilty for ignoring the sound. i hate when life give me choices coz i can never choose. i'm not confidence to actually pick what i think suit me best. then i hear a whisper.. that soft voice charmingly attracts me. for the fact that i'm ignoring other sounds, i ask myself should i do the same thing?even though i know it's different this time. my heartbeats are crazy. but my feet are anchored by my thought- i'm scared..what if it's not real?i dont wanna get hurt again. that's my problem. it seems so hard to ever trust anything anymore. i look inside me. i see nothing, nothing that wud make it difficult. but i know one hurdle that's so hard for me to pass instinct? it doesnt work anymore. ever since i sensed something was wrong and i was proven right, i shut it off. probably it's time for me to start stepping out of my comfort zone. i dont know. let's see how convincing it could be to drag me out. but one weird fact is that, when it silences, it's very loud and i know it's bothering me.