Thursday, June 10, 2010

being me,an ordinary girl

hey cupid,we need to discuss about your aim:)

what a girl really wants in her life?it's hard to generalize coz everyone would have different preferences.

what do i want in my life? this is harder than answering 15 marks biology essay on selection and evolution or even on control,coordination and homeostasis topic.

i just wanna be happy but i know it wont be as simple as it sounds.
happiness built on other people's grief is not what i'm seeking for.

i have 3 cupid arrows pointing on me right now but i'm sorry i have to build the wall to prevent those from reaching their target.i have mine and somehow i dont know which way to point it to.if it's strong enough then it can make it way through the wall but if it rebounds to me,i'm gonna be the one who would feel the pain.

idzni idzni..no matter how hard i try to deny,i couldnt.it's not something that you can choose-what to feel and when to feel it..

well,other people might not understand why i am putting myself in ths situation.yes i know i can if i want to just go away.it'll hurt but yeah,somehow i'll get used to it.but i refuse to.i dont even want to try.

say anything u want,i'm stupid,i'm blind or even deaf-u name it.i take it all.

i close my eyes to thgs i dont wanna see.i turn the deaf ears to thgs i dun wanna listen.i hold back whatever i feel coz i dont know whether i can express it or not or mybe it is more precise to say that i dont know whether u can take it or not if i say what i want to say.that's why i end up staring at you and just smile.

erm,some people told me-u have everything in your life.
no i DONT!
i seldom get what i really want in my life but i know i always get what i need.what i need to make my parents happy.what i need to make my friends comfortable when i'm around.what i need to not having a miserable life.
i'm happy and grateful for that but sometimes i want what i want:)
am i greedy?


maybe u're right when u said u didnt do anything.yeah,mybe i'm the one who fall for you without u intentionally asking for it.am i the one who drag you into this?do you really want ths?or do you feel like you're being forced to do ths?would you be happy if i'm not around?

before this,i might not ask you all these questions coz i can sense and feel the answers from whatever you did..but a month ago.everything seemed not right.my world shattered and was waiting for the time to fall apart.

now it seems ok.i'm happy but seriously i want to ask you this one question.
IF YOU WERE GIVEN A CHANCE TO TURN BACK TIME TO THE MOMENT WE FIRST MET,DO YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY?SO THAT THINGS WONT TURN OUT THS WAY?SO THAT WE WOULD NEVER KNOW EACHOTHER?


i am an ordinary girl.wishing to the star that 2mrw i'll wake up and the sun will shine upon me.n your love will be mine one day.
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1 comments:

gabriel said...
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