Monday, June 28, 2010

the time is urs

this is more than enough (:
to make me feel quite strong and it'll be quite a good foundation for the future hopefully.

life is unpredictable..
n mysterious...

i dont happen to have the wish to solve the puzzle right now.
a great thg needs a great effort to make it real..
so let's just take our time n have fun..
if the ending is not good,atleast in between the starting point and the final mark
lies good memories..oh well,easier said than done i knw but we can try :)

the journey is long,sometimes it can be longer or shorter..
there will be lotsa thgs we need to face but dont let it fear you too much coz remember,cross the bridge only when u come to it.

i'm listening to put a ring on it by beyonce n then back to your heart by backstreetboys..

one is about a girl that is up to another guy coz she's tired of the previous one.n the latter is about a guy trying to get back to the girl..interelated..hahaha..
one answers another! :)
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Sunday, June 27, 2010

yeayyyyy



Happy bday NIK ANIS BT NIK MAHMUD..
i made ths cupcakes for my beloved sister and i was so happy to knw that she likes it..hehehe
oh well,i love baking so i was having so much fun doing it :)
next up is moist choc cake for my sis's bf..hahaha

i'm quite busy ths fw days coz i need to settle a lot of things regarding my placement in qmul.hopefully everything turns out to be fine..pls pls b fine..;))

i finally manage to find a blouse that i have been looking for for so long..extremely happy;))

personal life?....normal :)
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

i'm sorry

tick tock tick tock...
it has been so long since we last text or chat but i dont know why after some time u juz come out from nowhere and give me something so called friendship.yes,that's the most i can give at ths moment.please do not intend to ask for more.i gave you my heart once and you decided to break it.i mended it with the help of few good friends and now what do you want?what's the point of making me remember all the good times we shared coz u did not even consider those when u broke my heart.i'm not blaming any of us for what had happened nor that i'm regretting but i juz want to forget it all.we're all good being apart and we're going to stay that way..i dont know what will happen in da future but for now,that's final..u and me-we're friend:)..

i'm not losing faith in love but yeah sometimes trust does fade.when u've tried ur best n nothing change,u start to give up.holding on too long makes letting go becomes easier when u have the gut to do it.sometimes what you think you want the most is not what u need at all.so,dont be greedy.start appreciating what you have-n i'm not one of them.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

fairy tales finally ended

N HERE IT COMES...real life!
well,to look at it from the bright side,i'm still alive..so shud be grateful right.
i enjoyed every moments of my past 3 days staying in my sisters' houses.oh thanks life for those fairy tales;)
now i'm back in kelantan.home sweet home.2mrw i shud get going..need to get some things done.medical check up,letter of good conduct..n i need to cmplete my driving license.looks like my schedule is full for the next one month.

n friends...cant wait to see you guys..yeay..
life oh life
when u lose something u'll gain something else...juz that sometimes,u're too busy mourning of what u lose to make u turn the blind eyes to those u juz got;)
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Monday, June 21, 2010

oh NO!

thank you for today..it was great :)
we didnt do much of anything but it felt like we've done a lot of things.
i was happy so i hope u felt the same way...
thanks 4 da keychain-i knw u bought it 4 charity :p..haha
2days b4 i really go home!!
oh NO!
we'll get used to it...tc
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Sunday, June 20, 2010

no one would understand

i did try
to make you understand
but somehow i think
it goes nowhere
faking a smile
n pretend like nothing hurts
are rather easier
than explaining
coz when i try
to fit you into my shoes
i knw that is not possible


u'll never get it
will you?
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Friday, June 18, 2010

omg,it's 2mrw!

my last day in ky.oh my god!
finally,it's time to really say goodbye.
well..kinda sad to leave.i'll miss all the juniors.ble da akhr2 ni br rpt ngn korg then da nk kena blah da..aiyoooo..tp xpe..insyaAllah kita jmpe lg next time okay..
to all the seniors,hopefully we can make it n fly fly fly...hehe..
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Thursday, June 17, 2010

time is running out

the clock is ticking.days passed by so quickly.it's time to say gudbye though i wish i cud stay but part of me do wanna leave.
when all you have to do is run and you choose to walk instead,it makes me stop n think for a while..

oh well,the ambiguous heart will never responds.i know.
would it always be ths way?we are stepping at our own pace n now i feel like speeding up and going to a place called nowhere.a place where i can be all alone and not thinking n worrying about anything.but i just couldnt.
my heart says no.
but i knw,there must be a limit to everything. the degree of tolerance is inversely proportional to the time.
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Monday, June 14, 2010

LOVE

To love is a beautiful,mysterious event.do not miss it.
Be neither too cautious nor too absorbed. Too many of
us reason with our hearts and experience with our heads.
It cannot be so. The heart knows no logic beyond need
and desire.the head has no senses except the common
and the pragmatic. Neither is useful in love
anyway. Rely on your sixth sense, that little voice within.
There is no preparation for or protection from the joy and
pain of relationships. They are inseparable twins. One follows
another.

True love passes all understandings.
True love Expresses loyalty.
True love hurts but can learn how to mend.
True love seeks good for the other.
True love lends forgiveness.
True love cries but washes away the pains.
True love makes an ignorant boy a mature man.
True love softens the heart of a girl to a nurtured woman.
True love never lies.
True love loves a person until forever.
True love sees love even though the hair is white.
And most of all...TRUE LOVE never breaks promises, until the vow has been done.

i used to think that if someone does hurt me,what is the best thing for me to do is to hurt that person back.life taught me it didnt work that way.coz when u hurt someone u care about juz because u want that person to feel what u've felt.it wont work coz when u care so much,whatever hurts him,the pain will be mine too.
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prom:)


it was fun i have to admit..
the food was quite good and the people there that lighted up the night.
thing i've never expected happened.i were nominated as top 4 for miss kyuem award??haha.it sounds funny right.i mean,look at the other candidates.they're pretty,smart and popular.i dont know how did my name get into that list but undeniably,i felt good..haha..i didnt win but the thrilled to be one of them made my night..haha
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Saturday, June 12, 2010

long long way to go

yeay..now in kl..2mrw is the day that i've been waiting for.though it may not be as perfect as i imagined before,at least i know i'll have fun:)

hmm,today is quite a long day for me.got up early,went to bfast at dh,took a cab to tg malim n then a bus to masjid jamek n lrt to klcc.phew:)

cant wait for 2mrw.just wanna 4get whatever happened today,so not going to write about it.

if my dream is ur nitemare,how could we make it fair??
if her dream is my nitemare,the most i can do is only stare.

forgetting.................loading...............100%....data elaminated!

:)
:)
:)
:)
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Thursday, June 10, 2010

being me,an ordinary girl

hey cupid,we need to discuss about your aim:)

what a girl really wants in her life?it's hard to generalize coz everyone would have different preferences.

what do i want in my life? this is harder than answering 15 marks biology essay on selection and evolution or even on control,coordination and homeostasis topic.

i just wanna be happy but i know it wont be as simple as it sounds.
happiness built on other people's grief is not what i'm seeking for.

i have 3 cupid arrows pointing on me right now but i'm sorry i have to build the wall to prevent those from reaching their target.i have mine and somehow i dont know which way to point it to.if it's strong enough then it can make it way through the wall but if it rebounds to me,i'm gonna be the one who would feel the pain.

idzni idzni..no matter how hard i try to deny,i couldnt.it's not something that you can choose-what to feel and when to feel it..

well,other people might not understand why i am putting myself in ths situation.yes i know i can if i want to just go away.it'll hurt but yeah,somehow i'll get used to it.but i refuse to.i dont even want to try.

say anything u want,i'm stupid,i'm blind or even deaf-u name it.i take it all.

i close my eyes to thgs i dont wanna see.i turn the deaf ears to thgs i dun wanna listen.i hold back whatever i feel coz i dont know whether i can express it or not or mybe it is more precise to say that i dont know whether u can take it or not if i say what i want to say.that's why i end up staring at you and just smile.

erm,some people told me-u have everything in your life.
no i DONT!
i seldom get what i really want in my life but i know i always get what i need.what i need to make my parents happy.what i need to make my friends comfortable when i'm around.what i need to not having a miserable life.
i'm happy and grateful for that but sometimes i want what i want:)
am i greedy?


maybe u're right when u said u didnt do anything.yeah,mybe i'm the one who fall for you without u intentionally asking for it.am i the one who drag you into this?do you really want ths?or do you feel like you're being forced to do ths?would you be happy if i'm not around?

before this,i might not ask you all these questions coz i can sense and feel the answers from whatever you did..but a month ago.everything seemed not right.my world shattered and was waiting for the time to fall apart.

now it seems ok.i'm happy but seriously i want to ask you this one question.
IF YOU WERE GIVEN A CHANCE TO TURN BACK TIME TO THE MOMENT WE FIRST MET,DO YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY?SO THAT THINGS WONT TURN OUT THS WAY?SO THAT WE WOULD NEVER KNOW EACHOTHER?


i am an ordinary girl.wishing to the star that 2mrw i'll wake up and the sun will shine upon me.n your love will be mine one day.
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:) :(

i'm happy:)
thank you.dun doubt my feelings when you dont even know yours.

you!!!
can you hear my heartbeat?
do you notice how fast it is?
coz i'm scared
n i keep thinking

how to make things work?
how to survive ths one year?
how to make you stay?
how to sustain my own feeling?

would fate has a different story to tell?
would you have a different path to take?

if things go the other way,
nothing much i could do.
i knw i can close my eyes to thgs i dun wanna see but i definitely cannot close my heart to thngs i dont wanna feel.
no matter how hurt or how happy i would be,i have nothing to regret.life is like gambling.u'll never know what u'll get in the end.u can only try and hope that luck wants to be in your side.
but one thing i know is that either way has its own risk.which one is worth taking is yet to be known:)
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

wooooot woooooot :))))

i'm done with all my 6 papers..hurray..let's not talk about exams anymore.just pray and hope for the best.

now i'm in my new chalet with my lovely chaletmates,abby,izzie and over.they still have papers but then it feels so alive to be here.it's jut for a week+ coz farrah went back n she let me use her room.weeeeeeeeeeeeeee;))))

well,i dont know what to do now.no classes,no more stdying for atleast 2 months..what should i do.


a lot of things happened these few days.sometimes i feel sooooo tired.i really am.thinking about the future that i never know how it'll be like.

for how long i can stand,we shall see.but if it ends it really does this time.i'm gonna start to learn and live without it.step foward and never look back.
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Friday, June 4, 2010

1 more paper to go!cant wait!
another 2 weeks in ky.mixed feelings.i know i will miss my friends so much.they're like my own family.but leaving ky means i'm a step ahead towards achieving my goal.hopefully on the 12th of august 2010,i'll be treated well.please God,that's the most important thing coz i'm here with a very big responsibility.i want to make my parents happy.i know i'm not the world's greatest daughter,but fulfilling their dream is my way of expressing my gratitude for everything and also a way of saying i'm sorry for my flaws.dealing with me is not easy,i know but ma and ku,trust me.if i were given a chance,with time,i'm gonna pay you back.all the endless love u've given me,u'll get it back insyaAllah:)..

being in ky for almost 2 years is like a life full of blessings.i complained a lot but i could not deny the good side of it.let's not talk about academic wise..
i have so much fun being around people like kammy,izzie,maddy,over,abby..they're like angels.they give me their shoulders to cry on.they smile and tell me evrything's gonna be ok when life sucks.they hug me when tears roll down my cheek.how would my life be without all these people?

hairul,the best petsib ever.he supports me everytime i fall.he doesnt get angry even if i fall because of the same reason.he'll be there for me.calling me at some nights when i tried to hide my tears saying it's ok to cry and you can always share your sadness with me.when i'm not well,i'll get lotsa medicines and cards.every single paper that i need to sit,i'll get a good luck wish and a smile.everytime i'm upset with anything,even if it's just a small matter,i'll get chocolates.thanks petsib.i wish you all the happiness in life and like we've promised,we'll be petsib forever:)

felix and piang.these two guys are more like my little brother.sometimes they do behave like they're older than me but it's just sometimes.they come to me with hundreds of love problems to be settled.they trust me and that is the best thing in friendship.i did go to them when i need advices or when i need to see things from guys' point of view.they've helped me alot.

maba,the weird one.he's a good friend.whenever i need something to make me laugh he'll never run out of supply.he'll be there.always.

i cant afford to write about everyone but seriously i'll miss you guys so much..i know i will.
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

it's time

in life,sometimes you need to just forget about all the pointless drama in order to be happy.start counting your blessings.yes,there are times when you just couldnt have what you really really want but guess what?when you rethink about it,maybe it's not what u need after all.God answers prayers in 3 ways,maybe more but these are the obvious three.
1-Yes and Now
2-Yes But Not Now
3-No and He replaces it with the better one.

to think that i've come this far,giving up is not an option at all.i'll just go with the flow and see how things go.i cant afford to spend my life mourning over something i want but incapable of having.i need to learn how to let go.i need to learn how to appreciate myself better.when i can have my own respect,others will follow.


another 6 days before my last paper..i seriously hope that everything will be just fine.i wonder how things will be like a year ahead.i'm scared but that doesnt mean it'll stop me from taking my steps foward.it's not that i cant accept changes in mylife,but sometimes i prefer a few things to remain in its original position coz that is more than enough to make me feel happy.
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