Friday, April 30, 2010

happiness..

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.so juz wait~
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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

look what you've done by hairul azim

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
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frowning

i hate the fluctuation of emotions right now..imbalance hormones level can really bring a big change to my ways of seeing and interpreting things.i'll be very very sensitive but somehow i think i can still handle it.i dun like my dreams these few days..i dun feel like i was sleeping when i dreamt about people around me,did the usual things and i even got hurt in my dream..
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Monday, April 26, 2010

why?

two intruders come to break the door.did u make it safe enough?


hmm..i would have to agree with a saying~it takes a person to lose sumthg b4 he knws what he once had.after 4 years,u come asking for a chance to explain?a big NO is the answer..
and the other one-thought u've moved on..was happy to know that,seriously but then why la all in a sudden u come back saying u miss me.another saying cought my attention- u can push a girl away so hard till she leaves by her own,but remember once she left,she isnt coming back..

why it has to be this complicated?
but somehow it makes me realise what i want for now:)
i hope i make a right decision:)
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Sunday, April 25, 2010

;)))

Thanks to izzie,kammy,maddy,over,chit,syawal,abby and razin,suman n azri!!you guys complete my life juz by being your-wonderful-selves..



nice bday party..i dun expect it honestly coz my bday was like weeks ago but i do appreaciate it very2 much.i love you guys so much esp izzie..thanks for being with me thru thick or thin from the very first week we're here.2 years are not that long n time flies when i'm with you guys.thanks again.



n to you,yes little things matter to me most n u're not big!*wink*
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

i come to think of it

juz for 1month+++,let nothing be ur priority except study!!!
build the walls even if they're gonna keep happiness away coz u know they'll definitely protect u from unnecessary pain.

sometimes,i can be very unpredictable..what i feel today might differ greatly from what i felt last nite.so,bear with the fluctuation of emotions and decisions.or if giving me the key for the locked door would sound better than coping with these,u can always do that.

~little things matter to me most,if you know me well,you'd know it..
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Friday, April 23, 2010

well said

copied sumwhere..




Sometimes even when you care a lot about other people and you think they care as much about you, you find yourself being proven wrong. They can be thoughtless and mean. They think you are willing to take everything they throw at you and understand, but they don’t know that we are human too. What is truly the meaning of friendship and family? Is it wrong for someone to have the desire to be in the company of whom they love?

We are all born selfish in our own way, but sometimes you try to control that selfishness for the people you say you care about.

I thank you for every thing that you’ve done for me, but sometimes little things matter to me most. If you know me well, you’d know that.

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

no word can best express this feeling

speechless...
what i'm facing now is something new,something that i've never come across to.something that could be use wisely to reflect myself and who i used to be.something that hurts so badly.it feels so bad to disappoint the people you love the most.ma n ku,i'm sorry but i promise you,it'll never happen again.NEVER!

i dont have much time to grumble why it happens this way but i'm putting as much effort as i possibly could to turn things my way.i'm positive about this and i know i can do this.when there's something bad happen,i always take it from the bright side..people can say i sought solace to heal the wound but if it works then why not.things happen for reasons and it takes time to see those reasons but i hope to see a better me after going through all these obstacles.

i know life can be very demanding but seriously now it is so out of my expectations.i wish i could timetravel and go to the future.its untold stories are killing me at this particular moment.everything seems so far away.but as i said,i'm gonna get it done no matter what.i'm gonna chase it.i want my dreams to make enchanted leap to reality.

i did cry.but crying never make me feel weak.it gives me strength,the one that i really need more than anything right now.a saying lingers in my mind~Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

i beleive in that and that is my greatest power generator right now.feel like not talking to people about this coz i know all of them are facing the same thing and to lighten the burden on my shoulder,i need to spill this out..i do hope in the future,when i read this again,i'm smiling and feeling grateful for what has happened today..this is something that i can learn a lot from and i'm gonna do it.;)

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

yeay

finally,i'm DONE with all my papers...yuhoooooooooooooooooooooooo.there are lotsa things i wanna do today and i cant wait for the housetrip..tomorrow..though we're not the first house to go to pangkor or not the first house that fly to our destination but i'm sure that we're gonna enjoy ourselves as much(no offense);)

we are going to enjoy every bits and pieces of it coz this is the last event for seniors and juniors to strengthen the bond before we say goodbye to this wonderful college(it is quite a good college except for the fact that it's in da middle of nowhere)

well i dont know what i shud do now..da habis paper xtau nk wtp da...aiyoooo...movies?binge?packing?(<---cam over gler je nk pack now)..

i end up fbooking and blogging..hehe..owh..i bought few clothes to wear during the housetrip..gle smgt ape ntah..hahahaha..nasib baik baju prom and graduation blum bli lg...

i read something about bouncing back.but i dun wanna write about it yet..after housetrip laa nk bounce back pun...nk enjoy dulu!;)

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

when life locks me out...

Have you ever felt how it is when u really want something but it is out of reach.and when u're about to forget,bam!it comes right in front of u.u feel like punching and kicking but u hug it instead.u feel like leaving but u keep worrying what will happen next.u get stuck and dont know what to do..my God..it hurts.so close yet so far away..the feeling of being uncertain to decide which step to take is the most annoying feeling ever!!when something has become more important than u urself,then u're in a big trouble. it's ok not to put urself as ur priority but someday u'll get so tired of everything.it happened before and why are you doing the same exact thing right now nik idzni dalila??maybe because it sounds so much like urself. u cant afford to be selfish with anyone or anything that come into urlife and u always get emotionally attached to them but someday u know things will get worse.to that something~i'll bear with anything as long as i possibly could.if it's so happen that i could no longer stay,remember,i warned you.

~emo~


enough being emo,moving on to what happened today.
my 4th paper BIOLOGY~tadaaaaaaaa...i like this one.it wasnt easy but it was waaaaaaaaay better than the previous three;)
i have my last two papers tomorrow and i hope everything will be juz fine..cant wait for the housetrip.i really want to fully utilised all the time i have to enjoy myself and have fun with my friends.i hope to come back with a new spirit to fight for my future.i really need this,REALLY!!
doing A2 make me realise the fact that it is what u give that u get back.if u give ur best then definitely u'll end up smiling sincerely looking at ur result sttement later on.so now what i need to do is to study super duper hard!!!!!!!i hope everything will be fine.pls b fine.
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

;))

life is too short to grumble why all those unfortunate things happen!

it's good to have this kind of feeling..to know that i do have someone to turn to when i really need a shoulder to cry on.sometimes u didnt know what to say or u said something you shudnt but i know deep inside u juz wanna make me happy..thanks for that and thank you so much for what u did during my birthday.

but i dont know why i do have this thought in mind..the thought that all those things should not happen..everything feels so wrong.maybe you shudnt be that nice to me..maybe u shud juz ignore me.maybe you shud not make me feel so special.maybe u shud juz gimme the key and i'll juz walk out of the door and never turn back.the time is not right. n i dun even know when it will be the right time.i think this is what i want but sometimes i get confused.maybe i'm not ready for this as well.maybe i dont want to have that kind of responsibility yet.or maybe i'm unsure coz sometimes u said something but u did it the other way round.

but i dont wanna live based on assumptions.so let's juz see how it goes.i wont let any of these brings me down.i'll not get too emotionally attached to it.let us juz take our own path and see if we could meet somewhere in the future..maybe the roads lead to the same place and if they do,then i think i'll be very sure of what i want at that particular moment.u need ur time and so do i.we know how we feel towards one another so problem shudnt arise and if it does,maybe it's a sign that i dont need to explain what it means.

life is too short for me to ask why it happens this way and for that i wont ask.i wont leave nor will i put a high hope on anything..let the future keeps its secret and enjoy what i have now coz that's why it's called the present.i wont turn back to the past and i refuse to predict the future.


EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE

  • Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.

  • When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

  • Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

  • Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

  • When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).

  • The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.

  • Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

  • Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.

  • Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

  • Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).

  • Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.
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Monday, April 12, 2010

a beautiful morning.

exam stress is haunting me this week and it's like killing me from the inside.seriously i never felt this way before.the pressure is so unbearable.oh God!why things seem to be so hard..why the dreams that i've been chasing all this while turn out to be sooooo far away...how do i increase my speed so that i cud be side by side with them all??show me the way pls..i'll put extra effort,i'll do my best,i'll sacrifice my sleeping time..i'll do it all..anything so that i can achieve ths.i dun mind not getting good grades for my trials if it is juz to make me realise what shud i do so that in da real exm,i'll succeed..

to deal with ths stress n pressure, i did a lot of things..i cried a lot like A LOOOOOOOt.i cant deny the healing power of crying..it helped a lot..then i watched funny video from youtube..helga fawntanilla...it's a very good video..n this morning i wake up very very early in the morning to study bio...of course i cudnt avoid from feeling sleepy so everytime i feel that,i'll get up n walk to the common room...then i saw few pieces of paper..nurjumaat-being left unread for quite a long time..it's like a big slap on my face..sometimes i do forget things..i enjoyed my life too much n sometimes ths can be harmful i have to admit.i read the nutjumaat n there's one section with the title remember kinda caught my eyes n soul..here's what was written-

when things are down
and u are out of ur mind
remember juz remember
Allah is The Kind

when ur life is in darkness
and nothing is right
remember n juz remember
through the darkness Allah is The light

when nothing makes sense
n u are heading for demise
remember n juz remember
allah is The wise.

i love the feeling when i wake up ths early...a very tranquil surrounding though actually in my chalet noise is hardly heard anytime cause all of us are very very quiet.i feel so relief n i do hope that ths feeling will remain..i wont let anything brings me down at ths moment.i'll keep my momentum up high so i can push my self to go beyond what i think i can do...but i need YOU..to be by my side guiding me what i shud or shud not do cause only you knw everything..




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