anyway back to you. i know very little about you but i guess the ability to show your vulnerabilities without a slightest worry that people will judge you(at least it appears so,God knows how you feel inside) attracts me. i cant really do that. i dont know how many times i have deleted what i wrote in my blog without posting it just because i was afraid of what people are going to say. this is my exception.well, you are.
i know it hurts.i know how much it hurts to like someone you know you dont have a chance with but not being able to get rid of that person from your mind. the countless effort of trying to stop the feeling. the hundreds unrequited love quotes you read over and over again to just let your heart understand that it's not going to happen but it refuses to believe so. the what ifs that keep playing in your mind..the maybes that you always consider. the thoughts of moving on and liking other people that never exist.everything.everything hurts and you know you have to walk away from all of these but you cant seem to find the courage to take the first step despite the endless pain you pretend to ignore.maybe you are so used to it that you think this pain is a part of you and there is no way you could ever make it vanish.
it takes learning about self worth and appreciating and loving onselfself to muster up the courage to leave it all behind. it takes quite a bit of faith to take a first step without knowing the destination. but as a fried who has been there and done that, all i can say to you is that it feels amazing to be able to make my exit from that misery. it feels like you release yourself from your own hand you never knew was silently throttling your sanity and you finally realized that you have missed a lot while tormenting yourself in that one sided affair.
now for me it's as simple as if it's meant to be it will be. it does not mean that i am just passively waiting for things to come my way but i know when to walk away if my presence is no longer needed. feeling is like a spring, the more you suppress it the harder it will bounce back and hit you.
making a decision is always scary no matter how many times you have made them. it's the fear of making the wrong moves. it's the hopeful voice that keeps whispering maybe if you wait and give it a bit of time then table will be turned. it could but most of the time it does not. let go of that fear.
and i chose the latter. i chose to admit my feeling and walk away.and it works for me. i was upset of course but i felt relieved as well.for me when you like someone, have the courage to let the person know.if he likes you back then it's good if not then you've got the starting point to move on.life is too short to wait around for people who would never be ready to love you back so i guess the way forward is to look for someone who is on the same page as you.
i used to be you but i also were in her shoes quite a few times. and being in her shoes made me learn how to walk out of being you.
i personally hope that one day you will find the love of your life and be happy with her. i hope that one day you will come to a point and say to your self i should have walked away earlier. what took me so long! i wish that even if that someone is not me, she will appreciate you, love you, know your worth and make it up to you for all the pain you have been feeling so far. goodluck, you! :)